After executing that dastardly fellow who sold my followers and me into slavery, the local guards took it upon themselves to incarcerate me. Me! A Shufflebottom! I was in the right of course, but it’s best to let the fools work that out for themselves in their own time.
So off to the Ridwall penitentiary I was. Even after considerable hints on my part, not a soul admitted to having heard of me or my family. They must have been lying, that much is plain of course, but still they did not extend me a single courtesy beyond that of a common criminal! Outrageous, I know. Well, I am a Shufflebottom, tough as an alpaca’s teeth my mother used to say. I maintained my composure quite well, I do say, did my father proud.
Prison is not such a hard place as one might be lead to believe! The people here are quite friendly actually. They seem quite interested in my noble household. They inquire all manner of details about my estate. Yes, unlike most of the peasantry, they seem to take a genuine interest in my noble family. I’m not certain what turn of events has lead these enlightened fellows to captivity.
I am now quite certain these men belong here. One of them tried to steal my trousers of all things. In the middle of the night too! It’s a good thing uncle Tedward always pushed me so hard in my training, or I may not have been able to overpower the man. A pickle I would have been in then! Comporting around even this place without my trousers would have been indecent. Still uncertain what he intended for them, as his seemed in fine condition. Perhaps there is an underground market here for garments.
Unexpected development today. I covertly questioned some of the peasants about any underground, black-market clothing deals that may be going on. I have never been one to enforce the law myself, but being a noble surrounded by savages, I felt a certain duty to impose some civility. It turns out they misunderstood the question and I somehow ended up in a small ring fighting some oaf named Tito. The half-giant brute would not listen to reason, so I was forced to subdue him. The onlookers seems somewhat taken aback. I can’t be sure why. I am certain I mentioned my name at some time or another during my stay… Perhaps not… I shall endeavor to remind them on the morrow.
Excellent news! Uncle Tedward has brought my house’s great influence to bear and has earned me a fair trial later this afternoon. The fighting in the basement appears to be a regular activity here. A form of friendly competition it seems. I am not one to deny peasants their exercise, so I humor them. Unrelated note, it turns out Tito is a fine fellow. The others seem quite afraid of him, but he has taken to following me wherever I go. Surely he wishes to learn from his betters, not that I can blame him.
The day of my release has come! My trial went well yesterday, as I knew it would. I was well within my rights of course. It turns out my lawyer did not require a testimony from me. In fact he seemed quite adamant that I do not concern myself with such trifles as talking or even gesturing during the trial. I am certain I could have done a better job of it, but I take pride in allowing peasants to give it their all un-aided. A fair settlement was reached for my release. Quite a sum, but they deserve the fine for my imprisonment. I think I shall buy myself something nice on their behalf.